a different (better) version than the one from the Nur Ein Song Contest — originally written for the fifth round of Nur Ein VI (over at Song Fight!) and which got me eliminated.
It felt risky to do something with this open and sparse a vocal. Doubly risky to celebrate being sort of slithery and over-the-top and celebrate that by handing it over to be remix/mastered by someone. But I wanted a haunted feeling of heartache and mystery and I was getting Small and Weird.
For reference, I was listening to Laurie Anderson's 'Poison' on repeat; so at the time thinking about being pushed under a large heart rock--and about how that felt in the song-mind.
BLT (Billy's Little Trip) felt he could do something to it. I said "sure, go ahead!" I sent him the track and afterward told him "wow! I sound like a porn star!" This was a clumsy compliment, but I think what I meant was that all the breath and sibilance that I always tried to hide was instead respected and emphasized as though I were a singer who wanted to showcase my voice and take it seriously--and after that I did about five or so years of the best singing of my life. So that's what positive reinforcement can do!
(And after he was cool about my vocal and completely got what I meant ...,we did a Song Fight title called Under Over and then a bunch more at SF with Billy and the Psychotics. And after many, many, extremely choosy reviews—we even won a few! :O)
lyrics
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The Heartshaker came. He lies in wait.
That's his way.
He lies. He wants my life.
It's what he does, he comes.. for me
As I gaze open wide into vertigo,
baby oh no, oh god...I don't want to know
I feel the rain.
As my mind slides away and we try to erase all the mistakes that were made
tell me whatcha gonna do-gonna do ... to stop the heartbreak?
Think a second of me, my water's so deep--
how you drown in my salty, so sweet.
Try to remember the sanity. Take time, help me breathe.
Stop what came, whatever it be.
If it be the Heartshaker, then break me.
If I die before I wake let's make a wish that our heart won't break apart ...
Please don't come for me. There won't be a point for the earthquake across the sea.
Down to the river! Down to the sea!
We'll break apart.
Heartshaker lies in wait to come and take my heart.
Written, Performed, Initially Mixed by
DJ Ranger Den (who is Denise Hudson)
*************
PHOTO is just because it was straight up creepy and I liked my hair part.
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